Adore coming up with rules. If you find something more complicated than a cotton swab

MAXIM - The rules of a good semitone. 5 shameful mistakes when dealing with a woman
How to open doors correctly, leading to the woman's soul.

You, men, adore coming up with rules. If you find something more complicated than a cotton swab, you immediately try to compose an instruction manual for this. Past such a complex engineering facility, as a woman, men, of course, could not pass. Therefore, once upon a time there were invented rules for dealing with a woman called etiquette.

But! Firstly, women have since slightly (you noticed the irony with which I use this word?) Have changed. Secondly, these rules should not be taken literally.

No, I'm not going to teach you how to behave. You are already so gallant to the point of impossibility. Especially I'm afraid of your gallantry, when it turns out in front of me ...



Closed door

Very nice when you open it in front of me. Thank you. And then I would have sat in front of her forever.

Although, if a secret! - I also know how to open the door. Yes, yes, yes ... and sometimes I even get it well. When no one sees, I always open the door myself, boldly leaning on the wings of a fragile shoulder. (Shoulder, yes, not a shoulder pad, as you like to say.) The shoulders, so that you know, it's such a thing that clothes hang on.) I'm sorry, sometimes this habit manifests itself in the presence of a man . And very often I am immediately punished for arrogance. Since my companion, in a good impulse, to seize the initiative in the battle with the door, usually rushes forward, simultaneously stepping on my foot, dislocating my hand and giving my knee to the backside.

Be more simple

Let all the doors be open to me in a metaphorical sense. But if I myself attempted to attack the input device, let me finish this operation. Especially be careful with the doors opening in both directions (certainly there is some term for their designation, but I do not know it, I'm sorry). Men usually push such a door. Women have a habit of pulling on themselves. At me this wont has not passed or has not taken place even after that shift of a radiocarpal joint ...

Or, for example, I can perfectly handle the toilet door. She just looks heavy. Therefore, do not think to open it in front of me. And it will be absolutely superfluous to open it carefully when I'm inside, even if it seems to you that I'm going to leave. The most correct thing is to ignore my visit to this place. Girls do not go there at all. You have misunderstood it.

Hanger

Your ability to beautifully shake me out of clothes can be useful in life for both of us. But a little later, when we come to your house. If we come.

In the meantime, we just went for a snack. So do not hurry. You've noticed the strange movements that your companion is doing, already unbuttoned the fur coat, but not yet taking it to the end? Perhaps you thought she had fleas. Or she is a member of the sect "Ritual dances as a path to excellence." So, you were wrong. This sheburshanie under cover - just an attempt quickly and unobtrusively ...

A) correct the straps;

B) pull up stockings;

B) pull the underwear out of ... well, it does not matter;

D) and so on.

You see, I must get out of the fur coat, like Aphrodite from foam, in all the splendor. If you hurry this coat off me, God knows how I'll appear before you or other visitors of this eatery.


Be more simple

Do not run behind my back, even if I have already unbuttoned all the buttons on the outer clothing. If I expect chivalry from you, I will turn to you myself (at least sideways). Or I'll drop my hands along the body, slightly pushing my elbows back. Noticing these signs, boldly pick up my outer clothing.

Stairs

Previously, a man was forbidden to climb the ladder behind a woman - he, poor, could, uneven hour, see her ankle and forever be damaged in the mind. After the sexual revolution, the situation with my ankles became noticeably simpler.

And now I'm risking on the stairs to see a strip of your pale hairy skin between the toe and the edge of the trousers. This often happens when you jump up the stairs with vigorous leaps ahead of me.

Be more simple

Forget the old-fashioned rules of etiquette and remember the following. On the stairs, it is more appropriate for a man to be always below a woman. That is, you should follow me up, and go down, on the contrary, ahead of me. Theoretically, this is all done so that you can pick me up if I stumble. In practice ... well, in practice, I usually just fall softer - also bread. (Maxim Russia)

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